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Red Sox Roster: Who The Heck Are These Guys?


If you want to be safe during the pandemic, wear a mask over your mouth and nose.

If you’re watching the Red Sox pitch, wear one over your eyes.

To quote Major League “I’ve never heard of half of these guys.”

If only it was just that bad. I don’t even know HALF of the Red Sox pitchers.

“Who started for the Red Sox last night?”

“Osich.” Well then.

Every night, aside from Nathan Eovaldi, the Boston Red Sox, not even two years removed from 108-wins, a World Series title and arguably the greatest club in team history, can’t even field a 5-man rotation of Major League pitching.

And that’s not all, they can’t field a Major League bullpen either. Brandon Workman, (ugh) Matt Barnes and (double-ugh) Heath Hembree can (maybe) pitch in the bigs, but the rest of these yahoos?

Every night is a parade of journeymen in their 30’s who don’t throw fastballs. These pitchers, if they were left handed and got outs would be called crafty. But they’re not and they don’t, so they’re called junkballers.

Every day, the Mookie Betts trade gets worse. (Yes, even yesterday when Mookie got hurt, it still got worse for the Red Sox.) When the trade was made it seemed like the Red Sox got nothing, and now when you look back, we got less than nothing!

When Chaim Bloom traded Chris Archer to the Pittsburgh Pirates, he got back Tyler Glasnow and Austin Meadows. For Chris Archer. Mookie Betts is worth a multitude of what Chris Archer is and the Red Sox got back a 4th outfielder. The upside of trading a super star player is netting some top prospects to stock the farm system and maybe some day down the road one or two might become all-stars. The Red Sox farm system is so barren the bank won’t even foreclose on it, and for the best home grown player since Carl Yastrzemski they got back a bench player.

Bill Parcells once said “The horse is dead, quit kicking it.”

That feels like what I’m doing here, but golly, watching the Red Sox trot out pitchers that Lou Brown would have cut from Cleveland camp while Mookie Betts hits home runs into swimming pools, it’s hard not to bellyache a little.

Like everything else happening right now, I hope it’s only temporary, but fear the long lasting ramifications.

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