Chargers- One of the two teams that make the most rational fit for Brady to sign with. They’re desperate, they’re feeling the strain of fans not caring or more specifically not remembering that they’ve moved to Los Angeles. They need to sell tickets to the new stadium in LA, Brady would help them do this, but would TB12 really want to go to a team that the world is so indifferent towards?
Raiders- The other team that makes the most sense is the Raiders, for the same reason as the Chargers because of their move to Vegas, but also because this is such a Jon Gruden move. Switch to a veteran quarterback and bend him to your system. Gruden did it with Rich Gannon in Oakland and Brad Johnson in Tampa to great success but would Brady adapt to Spyder 2 Y Banana?
Gruden seems to have eyes for any quarterback not named Derek Carr and has a documented history of falling in love with any quarterback other than his own. Gruden famous lamented in Oakland that he couldn’t possibly win with the quarterback that he had, his quarterback was Rich Gannon: the league’s reigning MVP. It would be such a Raider move to sign a 43-year old quarterback to a 3-year, $90m deal after making Carr the league’s highest paid passer less than two-years ago.
Chiefs- Nope, they have Patrick Mahomes
Broncos- Nope, they have Drew Lock? (I wish them a lot of luck. Who am I kidding, no I don’t.)
Steelers: Nope, they have Roethlisberger. (Don’t they? Grossest image ever, imagine Tom in Pittsburgh.)
Ravens: Nope, they have Lamar Jackson.
Bengals: Nope, they’re taking Joe Burrow. (Unless the rumors are true and he’s really refusing to be picked by his home town team. Either way, Brady isn’t signing with the Bengals as an improved situation over the Patriots.)
Browns: Nope, they have Baker Mayfield. (For better or worse, until death do they part.)
Jaguars- Nope, they have Foles for big money and Gardner Minshew?
Texans- Nope, they have DeShaun Watson.
Titans- Perhaps? They found something good with Ryan Tannehill, but is he someone they want to get in bed with long term? That’s the decision they have to make, turn down a future with a quarterback that won two road playoff games last year for the potential of Tom Brady for a season or MAYBE 2?
I think the partnership with Vrabel could be a reason for Brady to go to Music City, but for a franchise that is building something with young talent, doesn’t a younger quarterback fit better into that plan? This is certainly one to be weary of as a Patriots fan.
Colts- This could be a fit because Brissett isn’t a franchise quarterback. But like the Steelers example, how weird would Brady look in blue and white? Best not to even think about that. Brady wearing the same uniform that Peyton Manning did. Let’s move on.
Jets- Nope, they have Sam Darnold
Bills- Nope, they have Josh Allen
Dolphins- Nope, they’re going to move Heaven and Earth to get Tua Tagovailoa. They essentially tanked for two years to get Tua, they won’t let anything stand in their way.
Amidst rumors of the Lions trading Matthew Stafford and taking Tua at 3, the Dolphins might have to ante up, but for a team that is this far into a rebuild, what is some more capital. Add up your multiple first rounders and get your man. Adding a quarterback who could’ve run for President in 2012 wouldn’t figure to fit into that build.