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Cheers to UMaine men's hockey: They fooled us again.


f you’re a true fan of the classic NBC sitcom Cheers, you’ll remember Harry the Hat from some early episodes. “The Hat” was a slick conman played by the late Harry Anderson of Night Court fame. No matter how hard Sam, Norm, Coach and Cliff would try, they would be easily fooled time and time again by Harry’s bag of tricks.

Kind of like how UMaine hockey fans have been fooled once again into thinking that this program was finally making a comeback. The Black Bears put together a few wins over some below average competition on home ice and everyone was partying like it was 1999. But don’t look now, just like the Cheers bar boys, you’ve been bamboozled.

More than midway through the 2019-2020 season, per usual Maine sits mired in mediocrity at 8-7-3. There are currently tied for sixth in the eleven team Hockey East with two other teams.

UMaine was manhandled by UMass this weekend, 5-1 on Friday and 4-1 on Saturday. Yup-outscored 9-2 in the two games. A pitiful performance reminiscent of a “May Day” Malone mound disaster when he was pitching drunk for the Sox.

With the sweep by UMass, Maine falls to 0-6-1 against Providence, UMass Lowell, UMass and Northeastern, four of the top five teams in the league. UMaine has been outscored 28-9 in those games. The Minutemen outshot Maine 67-43 this weekend. It’s like Woody comping in trivia against Frasier and Lilith Crane.

The Sam and Diane romance had a better chance of lasting than the Black Bears chances of finding the back of the net these days. Red Gendron’s team is averaging just 2.44 goals per game. That’s 39 out of 60 teams in the nation.

Saturday was the 12th time in 18 games they have scored two or fewer goals. The Black Bears couldn’t even score against Carla’s ex goalie hubby, Eddie LeBec, who was killed by a Zamboni in season 7 back in 1989!

UMaine has a pretty soft schedule coming up. They are at Yale (4-7) Tuesday and home to America International (7-7) and Nebraska Omaha (6-5-2) before they dive back into the Hockey East schedule in January.

There are wins to be had against those teams I just listed. But here’s where you need to keep you hands on your wallets because Harry “The Hat” is about to trick you again. And you’ll be left at the end of the Hockey East schedule wondering what happened.

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