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Frustration of grubs, skunks and the Celtics


As we slide toward the merry month of June, I find myself in despair as a landscaper. No, I am certainly not a pro landscape artist with elaborate lawn maintenance tools at my disposal, but I do enjoy maintaining a green, trimmed-up stretch of grass at the McKay abode.

Some of my family members believe me to be a lawn fanatic, but I disagree. Lawn fanatics insist on removing every weed, dandelion, and every misshaped blade of grass. That’s not my deal. I have no problem with weeds, as long as I keep them short. But this year I’ve got a big problem: grubs.

In past summers I’ve taken my hat off to mourn my neighbor’s yards as they’ve suffered under the pestilence of these worm-like creatures. Once lush, green yards are reduced to brown, lifeless, cratered lawns as crows, skunks and other critters dig through the sod to get at the varmints.

That’s my back lawn in its present state. Looks like my once green, gleaming back yard has been peppered with hand grenades, as the grubs lurking just under the surface chew at the roots of the grass disrupting the flow of nutrients required to produce healthy blades of grass.

Celtics fans are lamenting the results of the 2018-2019 season these days. Seemingly, the talent was there, but something just wasn’t right. It seemed payroll and people were in place: Irving, Hayward, Tatum, Horford, and their supporting cast brought suitable fire power to the hardwood each night.

And yet, something was interrupting the flow of talent from the roots of the squad, to W’s on the scoreboard. Yep, like my sorry looking lawn, it seems basketball grubs were at work all season, eating away at the success of the shamrocks.

A few weeks ago, I spread something called “Grub-X” on my lawn in an attempt to rid myself of these &%$#^ grubs. While we don’t have some sort of magical powder to sprinkle on the Celts, I sure do hope D. Ainge and company have a plan to restore the luster of our beloved Boston hoopsters.

Considering the unprecedented success of New England sports franchises in the past 12 months, I am more than aware I have very little to complain about. But remove the grubs from the most recent version of the Celtics….might we have been looking at a clean sweep of championship trophies for the Pats, Celts, the B’s and Boxsox this year?

Guess we’ll never know. Stupid grubs.

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