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The End Of The World For The Pats, And I Feel Just Fine


How many of you watch the TV game show, Jeopardy? I stopped watching it for a while, but for the past year, my wife and I do are best to snuggle up on the couch weeknights at 7:30, and I proceed to amaze her with my vast knowledge of European culture. Ok, maybe that is a bit of a stretch.

Anyway, in the spirit of Jeopardy, here is the answer to a question: Nate Solder, Dion Lewis, Danny Amendola, and Malcolm Butler. My answer is “What are Toby’s new favorite players in the NFL because they stopped that stupid Patriot Way garbage, and went out and got paid’? Alex Trebek would say, “correct”, and I would take my winning home with me.

I absolutely love this.

Free agency is normally where the Patriots shine. They pick up some dumpster fire, put him out, and rebuild him to be a champion. It’s really a story I should like, but it’s the Patriots, so it can’t be good. But as of now, the dumpster fire is the Pats offseason.

Look, they may go out and make a big splash, but Jordy Nelson chose the freakin’ Raiders over your team…..say that again slowly, the R-A-I-D-E-R-S. Really?

How about that cheap shot artist Ndamukong Suh. You all claim to hate him and you booed him when he was a Lion and Dolphin, but if he signs with your team (not a lock, but he’s looking), he’s a beast. Yeah. You’ve always above board.

But look at the bright side. You signed Jason McCourty. I thought you already had him….oh, that’s Devin. Same difference. Not worries, guys. You made the big splash with Adrian Clayborn (who?), Jeremy Hill (what?), and Matt Tobin, who must have been owed a favor because the Tobin Bridge is named after him, my best guess.

Danny Amendola was a big reason as to why the Patriots got to the Super Bowl this year. Was he the best receiver on the team? No, but 29 other teams would take him, yet I had friends text me on Tuesday and say he was a traitor for signing with the Dolphins. Please. Just thank him for his work and wish him the best. Normal people do that, but not Pats fans.

So here’s to you, the Patriots fan, the one who thinks they hate us, ‘cause they ‘ain't us. If being like you makes me cool, I’m fine being a loser. It’s only a matter of time before the clock runs out on TB 12. I can’t wait to hear the groundswell when that happens. Stay classy, guys.

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