Last week we reviewed the AFC. This week, the NFC.
Dallas: Nope, they’re going to sign Dak, no matter what Michael Irvin says.
New York Giants: Nope they have Daniel…..I can’t even say it with a straight face……..Jones
Philadelphia: Nope, too much invested in Carson Wentz.
Washington: Nope, they have Cardale Jones. Wait, wrong league. Who the hell would go to Washington? I’m pretty sure if the Redskins played the DC Defenders, the Defenders would be -3 favorites.
Green Bay: Nope, they have Aaron Rodgers and all of his lame commercials. (Nobody on television as much as Rodgers is, has as little charisma Rodgers has.)
Minnesota: Nope, they have pledged their undying love to Kirk Cousins. I wish them a lot of luck.
Detroit: They’re maybe trading Stafford? Brady in Detroit with coach Matty P and old pal Danny Amendola? Seems like a stretch but as a Patriots fan, if the worst happened and TB12 left, this would be the most desirable location, you know, because we’d still get to spend Thanksgiving together.
Chicago: Nope, they have Mitchell Trubisky. And they probably don’t even know Brady’s a free agent.
New Orleans: Nope they have Drew Brees. And maybe Taysom Hill.
Carolina: Nobody is talking about Carolina. New owner David Tepper seems hell bent to move on from Cam Newton, but there is no clear direction on who their next QB is going to be. Feels like a wild card because of their first time NFL head coach Matt Rhule, but I could think of worse situations.
Atlanta: Nope, they have Matt Ryan. (Though if they had Carolina’s QB situation where they were looking to move on from a former MVP, this would be the place I’d spend my 40’s if I was Tom Brady. In a dome throwing to Julio Jones and Calvin Ridley.)
Tampa Bay: If this was a better franchise I could see a fit with Bruce Arians (quarterback whisperer, shhh) because of the weapons that would be at Tom’s disposal. However the Bucs are caught in their feelings on what to do with the option they have on Jameis Winston. I think they ultimately move on to someone like Teddy Bridgewater via free agency or stay with Winston.
Arizona: Nope, they have Kyler Murray.
Seattle: Nope, they have Russell Wilson.
LA Rams: Nope, they have Jared Goff. (I’ll wait for the laughter to die down before we finish.)
San Francisco: Nope, they have Jimmy G. (These things always come full circle.)