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Time to take the Brian Hoyer Exam

August 12, 2019

 

Forget the Meyers-Briggs test or any of those phony personality exams you might take for free on line or in a magazine. I have the the ultimate and definitive test to reveal your personality, psychological makeup and true character. 

 

It's the Hoyer Exam and it addresses perhaps the greatest mental quandary of all time: Would you be happy to be Patriots backup Quarterback Brian Hoyer? 

 

Your answer will reveal everything needed to know about you to potential employers, mates, friends and family. 

 

This is better than any background check. 

 

Consider and weigh the following facts carefully then reveal your answer below or at least honestly to yourself.

 

On one hand Brian Hoyer is a professional QB in the NFL. As such he is one of only maybe 80 or so people on the entire planet to be able to put that on a business card or Facebook profile. That’s pretty cool.

 

However he doesn’t get to play in actual games. He busts his butt everyday. Reviews film, lifts wights, trains and gets scowled at by Bill Belichick. He has to memorize the Patriots complicated offensive play book. And never gets to use it.

 

He has only attempted eight passes in the last two full seasons. He mostly gets to hand the ball off and kneel at the end of Pats wins.

 

Hoyer has been lucky enough to go to back to back Superbowls. Most players never get to one. And has a big ol 2019 Super Bowl ring. Wear that to a bar in Boston and you won’t pay for a drink.

 

But did you know he was the only active Patriot in last years win over the Rams to not to play one single down in the biggest game on the planet? 

 

Hoyer does make decent money. His annual compensation is 2.8 million this year. Thats the biggest chunk of a 4.4 million dollar deal he signed with the Pats three years ago. 

 

However, his pay the past two years has been small, and he is only guaranteed 1.5 million total on that contract. This year he may get cut and lose most of his pay this year for cap space reasons. Losing almost 3 million million dollars off a deal after doing everything your boss asks of you would truly hurt more than getting sacked by JJ Watt.

 

I’m sure he has a great life as an NFL player. Beats digging ditches. But how frustrating must it be to work so hard, have to be 100% mentally and physically prepared to play at a moments notice, to ultimately only hold a clipboard behind the greatest and one of the healthiest players of all time?

 

I'm sure you might be tempted to say what the heck, I'll take the money. But truly put yourself in his shoes.

 

There certainly would be that little voice in your head that would constantly remind you that an NFL career is short, and with some other team you could play more games, make more money and maybe have thousands of people cheer for you and buy your jersey. Heck maybe some will name their kids and pets after you as they do for Tom Brady. 

 

But that will never happen in your current situation. 

 

Although life could be much worse. 

 

So, time to take the test and reveal your true inner soul and find out what kind of person you really are. Would you be happy to be Brian Hoyer?

 

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