Remember how Seinfeld addressed the wicked gross issue of bad bathroom
etiquette? It's time to continue that quest.
I’m about to tilt at windmills. Or specifically urinals.
It’s time to flush out the violators: men who don’t wash their hands after using the restroom.
I was at a local establishment watching Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final recently. Between periods I used the facilities and watched a Bruins fan walk right out of the stall and out the door.
He had on a Marchand jersey. I find it ironic that his favorite player licks the sweaty faces of other players, but I bet even Brad would gag if he had to shake your hand after you touched your hockey stick and didn’t wash up.
Friday night I was out watching Chris Sale and the Sox. Another restroom. More offenders. One guy wrapped up his mound visit and strolled right out of the door while whistling. He was about as concerned with washing his hands as pitchers are Sandy Leon trying to steal a base.
We have to change the rules of the game.
From WebMD: “The CDC says only 31% of men wash their hands after using the restroom. “
A .310 batting average is Hall of Fame worthy. But walking out without some water and soap should get you benched.
As a Germaphobe, I know we are supposed to rub our hands together with soap for at least 20 seconds while washing. Maybe we need a shot clock in every men's room?
Even if you are in a hurry, before you fast break out of there at least run some water over your hands.
Seriously, If you think this nauseating lack of hygiene is ok, why abide by any social standards at all and just pee under your table? We’ll call that move the “Quarterback Sneak."
So what can be done?
Well, perhaps we should all carry around a little yellow letter “P”. When we catch someone exiting a bathroom without washing, we slap that letter on their left front shoulder right where Tek wore his “C.”
And please share these friendly tips with your guy friends:
Watching auto racing? Don’t worry about who is on the pole. Think about washing up after touching yours.
At the golf course or watching the PGA on TV? Put away your putter then wash your hands.
And of course at baseball games, put your bat back in the rack and stop by the sink before you exit.
Let’s all please try to be a little bit more like Dustin Pedroia: all washed up.