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The Yankees Name Aaron "Bleepin" Boone Manager

December 4, 2017

 

It appears George Costanza and Mr. Wilhelm are once again making the decisions in Gotham. Of the thousands of managers and coaches working at various levels of baseball in our great nation, somehow the most storied franchise in the sport has chosen a guy who has never managed or coached a single game in his entire forty four years on Gods green earth. 

 

What's next? Cotton uniforms? Yankee Stadium bathroom stalls that have doors all the way to the floor? A blockbuster trade with Tyler Chicken? 

 

Seriously, Joe Giardi was canned after winning 91 games and almost making the darn World Series. He averaged 91 wins a year for a decade, never won fewer than 84 games, and did claim a World Championship. But that didn't live up to pinstripe expectations. 

 

So, enter Aaron Boone.

 

ESPN says " As a manager, Aaron Boone will bring a blend of insight and analysis. But in the clubhouse? He'll add a regular guy's balance of humor and respect, for the game and for people."

 

Oh. I didn't realize he was so funny. Maybe they should have just hired Will Ferrell. Or Kevin Hart. I think he's a riot. 

 

I predict in two years Boone will go out in a bigger ball of flames than Constanza did when he dragged the World Series trophy behind his car in the stadium parking lot. Boone might as well drag one too because he has not shot at winning one as manager.

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