“You want to get nuts?! Ok. Let’s get nuts!”
Michael Keaton’s Bruce Wayne delivers this line to Jack Nicholson’s Joker in the 1989 Batman movie. It seems to fit here as we get ready for the Red Sox-Astros Division Series, If for no other reason than you are nuts if you think you know how this series will play out.
The Sox are like one of those great riddles Heath Ledger's brilliant Joker presents to Christian Bale's Batman in The Dark Knight. That joker puts bombs in a hospital and on two Gotham ferries loaded with convicts and civilians. He's nuts and he The has captured a loved one of yours. Their life depends on you accurately picking the winner of this best of five series between Boston and Houston. Who ya got?
This Sox team resembles the hideously burned Two-Face character in the Dark Knight. You can make a wicked convincing argument for and against the Red Sox winning their first playoff series since 2013.
So as you try to rescue your loved one, lets face off.
Handsome side vs. Hideously Burned:
Handsome: Sox have been in first place since august 1. They won 93 games and just claimed their second division title in a row.
Burned: Yes but they lost 5 of 7 games down the stretch including losing 3 out of 4 to the Astros.
Handsome: Sox went 15-3 on extra inning games featuring many come from behind wins. Shows character
Burned: They also let David Price embarrass a Hall of Fame pitcher and got caught and fined for stealing signs and relaying them via an Apple watch. Shows lack of character.
Handsome: John Farrell- 3 Division titles and a World Series ring.
Burned: John Farrell. Dumbass. Even Dave Dombroski admits the guy cant in game manage a lick. Maybe he needs to spend less time watching young hot reporters who cover the team and more time watching film.
Handsome: Craig Kimbrel struck out half the batters he faced, and had one of the best years as closer in American League history.
Burned: No AL team hit fewer home runs and they were the only team not to have a grand slam all year. Not even one. Plus The Sox have 112 errors as a steam. That’s 12th out of 15 AL teams. Devers plays third like he has frying pan hands with 14 errors in just two months.
Handsome: Sox have the second best ERA in the American League and the most quality starts of any team.
Burned: Doug Fister is literally the only starter to even one post one post season win and he might not make the roster.
Handsome: Chris Sale is a finalist for the Cy Young award.
Burned: And he would have won it if he didn’t run out of gas. Sale went 3-4 in August and September with an ERA nearing 5.00. He hasn’t had back to back good starts since mid August.
Handsome: Sox won 45 games on the road this year.
Burned: Houston won 48 at home and has home field advantage.
Handsome: Sox run differential is 118. Not bad.
Burned: Sox couldn’t score with Vicki Vale. Houston’s is 195. One of the best in baseball. And don’t forget the Sox run bases like little leaguers on Nyquil. No team had more people thrown out at the plate this year. It's like Brian Butterfield is draped in the same camouflage that makes the Bat Mobile invisible form time to time.
Times up! Who wins?
Just like in the Dark Knight, you might as well flip a coin as Two-Face does. But I'll take a shot at saving your loved one. Houston 3-2.